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Joe Biden Caught Singing Katy Perry Lyrics: ‘I Smelt A Girl, And I Liked It’

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This was never the way I planned, Not my intention, I got so brave, drink in hand, Lost my discretion, It’s not what, I’m used to, Just wanna try you on, I’m curious for you, Caught my attention

I smelt a girl and I liked it, The smell of her cherry chap stick, I smelt a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it, It felt so wrong, It felt so right, Don’t mean I’m in love tonight, I smelt a girl and I liked it, I liked it, No, I don’t even know your name, It doesn’t matter

You’re my experimental game, Just human nature, It’s not what, good girls do, Not how they should behave, My head gets so confused, Hard to obey, I smelt a girl and I liked it, The smell of her cherry chap stick, I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it, It felt so wrong, It felt so right…

Joe Biden: I Am Proud To Be The First Woman Running For President

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Dementia ridden Joe Biden announce that he was excited to be the first woman running for president. During a press conference on Thursday afternoon he said that he was proud to be the first woman ever nominated by a major political party.

Biden clearly is out of touch with reality and doesn’t understand that he is a man let alone remember things that he said 5 minutes ago. The concern is that the former vice president doesn’t understand the severity of the things that he says and the National Security implications on his dementia.

According to medical doctors at St John’s Memorial Hospital Joe Biden meets the criteria for early onset Alzheimer’s.

Joe Biden, at a campaign rally tonight, said that when he is president he is free to do whatever he wants. The audience was very surprised to hear the presidential candidate say that as he should know that he is subject to congressional and judicial oversight.

The former Vice President is beginning to lose his mind. He thinks that he is a dictator and by those means he is allowed to have rule over the United States of America.

Joe Biden: ‘I Picked Kamala For VP Because She Smelt The Best’

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Vice President Joe Biden who has been known for sniffing individuals throughout his career announced on Wednesday that he had chosen Kamala Harris to be his VP running mate because when he sniffed her she smelled the best.

He said that she smelled like a woman of color and the radiant smell smelt like an authoritarian who loved big government. When asked what the other individuals he interviewed smells like he said that Liz Warren smelt to Indian and the other smelt too American.

Kamala Harris was the perfect pick because she smelt like just the right individual. She also smelt young what is something that he sought after.

Biden announced that the two would sniff their way to the top. He is going to mentor her into being the perfect sniffer. Biden also announced that his next big plan is to begin licking people.

Harris immediately went into training to learn how to sniff like the best of them. This was done behind closed doors due to covid-19 but you can be assured that she will be at the top of her game when she starts licking and sniffing individuals.

The two said they are very excited to work together to raise taxes, take away your guns, and fight for transgender rights. They plan to take all the Patriotic parts of this country away and make it into liberal hell.

Joe Biden: I Can Do Whatever I Want When I Am President

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WILMINGTON, DE - SEPTEMBER 24: Democratic candidate for president, former Vice President Joe Biden makes remarks about the DNI Whistleblower Report as well as President Trumps ongoing abuse of power at the Hotel DuPont on September 24, 2019 in Wilmington, Delaware. (Photo by William Thomas Cain/Getty Images)

THIS ARTICLE IS SARITE.

Joe Biden, at a campaign rally tonight, said that when he is president he is free to do whatever he wants. The audience was very surprised to hear the presidential candidate say that as he should know that he is subject to congressional and judicial oversight.

The former Vice President is beginning to lose his mind. He thinks that he is a dictator and by those means he is allowed to have rule over the United States of America.

His campaign manager could be seen shocked as the words came out of his mouth. President Donald Trump has promised to bring this up during the debates.

THIS ARTICLE IS SARITE.

Democrats Want To Cancel The Fourth of July

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THIS IS SATIRE.

Democrats took the social media on Thursday afternoon to let the world know they believe that the Fourth of July should be canceled and that we should no longer celebrate. They said they consider to be racist. Obviously, they don’t want us to celebrate because they hate this country and they don’t want to celebrate the success that we have.

They said they will continue to fight in the next 10 years with a plan to abolish the Fourth of July celebration and make it illegal. Their hope is that it is a thing of the past and celebrating this great nation will be abolished.

Chief spokesperson Todd Angers said “America is a horrible country why would we want to celebrate?”

THIS IS SATIRE.

Joe Biden: I Am The Worst Candidate For President

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WILMINGTON, DE - SEPTEMBER 24: Democratic candidate for president, former Vice President Joe Biden makes remarks about the DNI Whistleblower Report as well as President Trumps ongoing abuse of power at the Hotel DuPont on September 24, 2019 in Wilmington, Delaware. (Photo by William Thomas Cain/Getty Images)

THIS STORY IS SATIRE.

Today at a local campaign rally, former Vice President and current presidential candidate Joseph Biden made the statement that he is the worst candidate for President of the United States. Maybe it was his dementia, but he stated that he does not believe anyone should vote for him.

The crowd laughed at him hysterically as he realized the mistake you just made. Members of his campaign staff came up to the side and quickly guided him off the stage. Behind the scenes campaign staffers were trying to spin this into an attack on the Trump campaign.

His chief spokesman said that Trump shouldn’t make fun of an old man. But alas it was Biden who made the mistake.

He’s currently in lockdown at campaign headquarters strategizing about how to fix the problem that he has created for his campaign. Sources tell us that he realizes the mistake it is currently trying to fix it.

THIS STORY IS SATIRE.

Nancy Pelosi: Taking Trump Down Is More Important Than What Americans Want

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THIS STORY IS SATIRE.

During a press conference early Tuesday morning, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced that she no longer cares with the American people think. She is going to start doing whatever she wants regardless of what her constituents want.

She noted that she plans to impeach President Donald Trump a second and third time if it takes. “That man will not be reelected president,” said Pelosi.

The speaker announced that her office will do everything in its power to remove him from office and make sure that he is never able to hold public office again.

Her legal team tells her that the House of Representatives can impeach Trump as much as they want.

THIS STORY IS SATIRE.

Ralph Northam: As A Man Who Dressed Up To Be Black, I Support Joe Biden

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THIS STORY SATIRE.

Governor of Virginia Ralph Northam today announced that as someone who once dressed up as a black man he supports Vice President Joe Biden to be our next president.

The governor has said since he identifies as being black and he feels like one of the guys he should be able to endorse the former vice president on behalf of the black community.

The story comes shortly after the vice president announced that if you vote for Trump you are not allowed to be black. The former vice president and now presidential candidate has taken a lot of heat on social media for making the comment.

Candidate Biden responded by doubling down on his comments. He asked “How can you be black and support Trump?” Trump supporters were good to respond with all of the low unemployment numbers and other things that Trump has done to support the black community.

THIS STORY SATIRE.

BREAKING NEWS: Barack Obama Diagnosed With Coronavirus

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THIS STORY IS SATIRE.

Late Wednesday afternoon, a spokeswoman for the Obama family announced that former President Barack Obama had been diagnosed with COVID-19. She said the president is resting at James Madison Memorial Hospital comfortably.

The former president is surrounded by Michelle Obama and the remaining members of his family.

The doctors at James Madison Memorial Hospital are closely monitoring about my after he had respiratory issues present. The physician for the former president is hopeful for his recovery but is closely monitoring the situation.

THIS STORY IS SATIRE.

Biden: It’s Okay To Touch Women Without Consent, They Like It

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WILMINGTON, DE - SEPTEMBER 24: Democratic candidate for president, former Vice President Joe Biden makes remarks about the DNI Whistleblower Report as well as President Trumps ongoing abuse of power at the Hotel DuPont on September 24, 2019 in Wilmington, Delaware. (Photo by William Thomas Cain/Getty Images)

This Piece is Satire.

Joe Biden appeared on NBC this evening and he made the statement that it’s OK what he does to women and children because frankly, they like it. He says they can’t be a victim if they like it.

In a sad pathetic turn of events, Biden supported a law in the Senate that would allow children to be abused.

He said I don’t need their permission because people like it when famous people touch them.

He also went on to say he has never touched a woman without her consent but then admitted he doesn’t remember.

This Piece is Satire.