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Obama Arrested For Spying On Trump Campaign

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This story is satire of course but wishful thinking.

Late yesterday evening the Department of Justice in connection with the FBI rated the home former President Barack Obama. He was arrested in connection with an investigation into the 2016 presidential election and wiretapping that took place.

Furthermore, the FBI execute a search warrant removing thousands of files and electronic devices from the home of the Obama family.

Secret Service had no comment other than to say they would continue to protect the president in his new jail cell until such time as a court could rule on his need to stay in prison through a trial.

The president will remain in jail until such time as a magistrate judge can decide if he is a flight risk. Then if they determine he is not a bond amount will be set.

The pending charges are espionage and interference in the presidential election. An Obama spokesperson had no comment on the matter.

This story is satire of course but wishful thinking.

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Joe Biden Tells American People Not To Vote For Him

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THIS PIECE IS SATIRE

In the face of allegations that former Vice President Joseph Biden engaged in inappropriate behavior when he was a member of the United States Senate he responded by saying “If they believe Tara Reade, they probably shouldn’t vote for me. I wouldn’t vote for me if I believed Tara Reade.” In a stunning turn of events, he is making history by telling the American people not to vote for him. No presidential candidate in the history of this country has ever said don’t vote for me.

Whoever is running Biden’s presidential campaign should be fired for incompetence. The former Vice President is giving great advice and telling everyone not to vote for him. These statements come from the accusation that he sexually harassed Tara Reade a former Senate staffer.

Biden has denied the claims and attempted to tell people to dismiss her accusations. This is a complete 180 from when Judge Kavanaugh was being considered for the High Court. Biden said that we should believe all women.

But of course, when the tables are turned he doesn’t care what other people think. He says that everyone should believe him and no one should even consider her accusations.

THIS PIECE IS SATIRE

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Joe Biden Arrested For Touching Women And Children Sexually

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Earlier this evening Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden was taken into custody. He was arrested in connection with inappropriate touching and violating the personal space of women and children across the country. As he touched his women without their consent many admitted to feeling extremely uncomfortable.

Joe Biden is at the same prison that his counterpart Hillary Clinton was taken to when she was arrested.

Joe Biden is being held on a $150k bond for the inappropriate touching and for violating consent under the law.

When the Chronicle reached out to Mr. Biden’s campaign they had no comment for the story before it was published. Mr. Biden is likely to address the American people once he is released from prison if that takes place.

This story is satire.

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BREAKING NEWS: Democrats Want To Tax Your Orgasms

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This story is satire.

Democrats announced late Sunday afternoon if they were looking forward to taxing your orgasms. This announcement comes after Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez needs to find money for her BS climate change agenda.

Democrats said they will they will require everyone to register into a database every time that they have sex. If the male or female ejaculate they will be required to click a red button that shows they did.

At the end of the year, the United States federal government will consider this part of your taxes. You’ll be required to pay $3 for every orgasm.

However, if you are gay or transgender you will not be required to pay this tax. Democrats consider you special and don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Only the heterosexual couples will be required to pay.

This story is satire. 

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Senator Warren Sets Up Teepee In California For 2020 Presidential Campaign Headquarters

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This article is satire.

Senator Warren who is known for being 1/1024th Indian has set up a teepee in southern California for her campaign headquarters. At a press conference, Warren said she was glad to be rejoining her people.

She is running on a platform that anyone person can identify as Indian.

She has changed her Twitter handle to:

Sen. Warren is excited to fight for 1/1024th of her self.

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Senator Cory Booker Reunites Native American Indian Terrorist With Family

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This article is satire.

Senator Cory Booker of NJ reunited a native American terrorist with his family shortly after new criminal justice law passed.

Shortly after the passage of the bill and his hug with Senator Chuck Grassley, Booker traveled to the State of Arizona at the border.

He went to the prison and told the guard that the terrorist had a legal right to be free. After murdering 100’s he deserved a second chance.

After being released into Booker’s custody the Senator took the terrorist to get an enchilada where was reunited with his family.

Shortly after being released the terrorist stole 100k from a rich white business man.

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Alexandria Ocasio Cortez Admits That She Was Wrong

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This Story is SATIRE.

Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio Cortez admits to the Conservative Millennial that she thinks that it is capitalism that will help this country grow beyond where it is at now.

The Congresswoman-elect sat down with Allie Stuckey of CRTV to share her plans for her congressional seat.

She says the realization that she was uneducated on politics helped her to want to understand what she was talking about better so she did some research and she learned that competition is actually a good thing.

She went on further to say that stealing money from those who have worked hard for it is wrong. She says she will not longer fight to steal money from those who have spent their entire lives working for it.

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WATCH: DWECK’s Hilarious Parody of Fake News CNN is Going Viral

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A hilarious sketch of a firefighter who saved an entire family getting fired for being a Trump supporter is going viral on social media.

The Fireman is a 3-minute sketch released as a preview for DWECK, an upcoming sketch comedy series.

The video has already been viewed over 2 million times on Facebook, made the front page of Reddit, and now has over 300k views on Twitter at the time of this writing.

In the sketch, a mainstream news outlet interviews a firefighter who just finished saving an entire family from a burning building. A few seconds into the interview however, the news outlet starts to slander and vilify the fireman after they find footage of him wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat. The sketch is hilarious and must be watched.

Here’s what some familiar faces are saying on Twitter.

The full sketch can be viewed on DWECK’s YouTube channel by clicking here.
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DECqrt9p5SA[/embedyt]
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BREAKING NEWS: President Donald Trump And CNN’S Jim Acosta Hug (SATIRE)

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YEAH RIGHT. WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER.

LOL

YEAH NO.

THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE.

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BREAKING: Defense Dept Raids Democratic National Committee Headquarters (SATIRE)

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Today, the Department of Defense through its National Guard Bureau Executed a warrant to search the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters building located at 430 South Capitol Street SE, Washington, D.C., 20003.

Thousands of records were transferred to the Defense Dept for investigation and intense forensic analysis. Among the records initially found were records on the death of Seth Rich, opposition research on Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and criminal records on the Clinton Foundation.

This investigation has only just begun. Republicans will be excited to know that they found copies of the deleted classified email records by then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

These documents prove that there were backups of the records that were deleted by then-Secretary of State Clinton. As the Department of Defense continues to scroll through we will have more information to provide to you little later date but for now, understand that this is an ongoing story and investigation that will keep you apprised of.

US Marshals happened State outside the homes of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joseph Biden, and many other top Democratic leaders.

This article and it’s series are satire.

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