Women Who Work as Wives?

“The bottom line is, we are happier, more effective, and more productive when surrounded by smart, creative, hardworking people,” Ivanka Trump tells us in her book, Women Who Work. For 79 pages so far I have been reading about how women work at all things in life, and that essentially, we can do it all. #TweetYourUnpopularOpinion I do not think that is the case. Our modern, 21st century world is consistently telling us we can work, have a family, be in a happy marriage (if married at all), and still have time to pursue our passionate, personal hobbies. Renaissance men we are not, not even renaissance women.

Going through the public school system growing up, there was little to no emphasis on family or religious values, something that was very prevalent for me outside of school. The system was progressive, as I have come to discover; however, living through it growing up, I had no clue this notion was working on all of us. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was a basic question I heard all of the time. Most examples given were of doctors, astronauts, firefighters, and of course the President. While these are typical huge end goals of many young, developing minds, I cannot help but wonder why I never heard ‘wife’ or ‘mother.’ My answer was not even close! I usually responded with ‘lawyer,’ and to this day, I plan on pursuing that, but am ready to drop this ‘dream job’ at any time for what I have come to discover is my real dream job: a wife.

My church growing up used to speak a lot about traditional marriage, as most attendees were usually of older age. Traditional marriage, to my understanding, within Catholicism, is a man devoting his life to his woman and marrying for life, like Jesus gave himself to the Church and us for our lives. The millennial generation has obviously steered in other directions than simply just this one. As a millennial, I understand the whole ‘acceptance’ thing, but as a conservative, I also understand in my right to hold my own beliefs and pursue them how I feel fit.

Desiring a career as a wife and mother may be one of the hardest out there. I say this for the reason that in most any other career, here in America at least, there is a set path:

You have an end goal of the job and you can or cannot choose to get there.
You can network and make opportunities happen for yourself if you are devoted.
You can visualize how you make it to that doctor’s office, TV screen, or classroom.

Certain occupations are clearly incredibly difficult, which is why so few people make it to them, but in our modern society, ‘be whatever you want to be’ is practically engraved on our brains. Why pursuing a career as a wife is so tricky is because there is no set-in-stone path to get there. Waiting for the perfect match is not within our control, let alone timing. It is a career that could lead you anywhere, anytime, and for any reason. There is no way to ‘google’ where you have to go next. There is no GPS to finding my dream job in this case.

Women’s happiness has been going down since the 1970s in America and the United States. Many variables can contribute to this, but the one mainly touched upon is the dual burden women hold. With society telling women they can achieve whatever they want in their careers and still have a healthy, happy family, double expectations place a heavy weight on their shoulders. Work in the day; household chores at night. Exceptions and personal anecdotes aside, this is the general consensus known as the ‘paradox of declining female happiness.’

Feminism has been a cancer for us in this way,  killing out the women who support their men, children, house, and selves as their number one priority, and exponentially growing the number of women who may prioritize those things, but enter the world in search of self-satisfaction and instant gratification. As a republican, I find it my responsibility to lead a happy life, and thus acknowledge that I would be happier as a woman of the home, raising children (actually being involved in their lives), and supporting my husband.